ABOUT
"I thought I hated Aman Khalil as much as it was possible to hate a person, but that was before he broke my best friend’s heart. (And then mine, but I don’t want to get into that just yet.)"
Connor hates everything about his best friend Natalie’s boyfriend, from his dumb basketball shorts to his penchant for giving life advice nobody asked for. Aman Khalil’s good looks and over-the-top nice guy act might be fooling Nat, but Connor sees right through it, and Aman is wasting the limited time Connor has with his friends before they go their separate ways for university.
All year, Connor’s been planning the summer road trip to end all road trips—the last hurrah for the best friends he’s ever had—and it’s going to be foolproof. Meticulously planned itinerary through western Canada’s luxurious landscapes? Check. Perfect moments with each of his friends, so goodbye won’t hurt so much? Check. Distance from his overbearing mom? Check.
Aman, invited without Connor’s permission?
... Check.
But when Nat and Aman break up two days into the six week trip, Connor’s house of cards comes crashing down. With Aman constantly underfoot and the foundations of their friend group slowly cracking, Connor is forced to confront the growing feelings he can’t squash, properly face what happened six months ago, and start answering the real questions:
What is he really running from? What is Aman trying to tell him? And is there room in his life for the person he might be at the end of the road?
"THE SUN IS
SHINING,
MURPHY."
"SOmetimes
That's All
You need."
WRITING THIS BOOK CHANGED MY LIFE.
HERE'S HOW:
I WISH YOU WOULDN'T was the catalyst for my gender exploration. When I started writing it, I was just beginning to understand why my own skin felt so wrong. I was deeply in the closet, and the shame I felt around my sexuality and core identity bled through Connor's narration and opened my eyes to how deeply guilt had affected every aspect of my life. Connor and I de-coupled from what our parents thought of us at the same time, with similar consequences (you'll get to read more about that in book 2).
Writing it brought me insurmountable joy, and a peace I never thought I'd find.
I hope you can read it somewhere in the sun.